Feeling Numb to my Emotions

In the last three months, it has been an emotional roller coaster. From getting the news about my grandmother stage 3 Ovarian Cancer, having unwanted thoughts & my mental health is declining so bad…I’m not sure how to feel anymore. My emotions has been somewhat odd. The best way to describe how I been feeling, its more like a tornado mix with a thunderstorm & floods. (If that makes sense) Instead of crying and letting everything out, I hold it in…feeling numb. All my emotions are in this huge bubble & everything is going to bust in RAGE. The most important thing I have learned while going through this, instead of holding on to the pain…its better to handle my emotions in a positive way.