Dear Mom,
Today makes nineteen years since God called you home. At the age of twelve I was so confused and didn’t understand what was happening. The only thing I did understand was you left and you wasn’t coming back. In my preteen and teenager years I really needed you. To talk to me about boys, how to be comfortable with myself and seeing me on prom night. Those types of moments I cried for you. As an adult its much harder because I haven’t accepted your passing and don’t know how to cope. I miss you on your birthday, your anniversary and don’t get me started on Mother’s Day. Its been the most difficult day for me since you died. I miss you so much and wish you were here with me. Sometimes I get so sad and angry and I start to ask God Why? Why me? Why my mother? Then I start to realize that he needed you and it was time for you to go. I remember you would look at the sky and say ” I’m ready to be with the lord.” As a child I never understood what you meant by that but now I do. You had cancer and it was making you sick and tired. Now you are in heaven looking fabulous and feeling better. I know you didn’t want to leave me, dad, Alexus and Bubba but, just know your kids turned out to be great adults and dad raised us well. God let me have you for twelve years…I’m grateful for that and I will continue to hold on to the memories that we shared close to my heart. I know you are not here in body but, you are with me in spirit, always and forever. I promise I will keep your legacy alive. This is not a day to be upset that you are not here but, a day to celebrate your life. You were here on earth for thirty-four years and you lived a great one. I love you and miss you so much.
Your oldest daughter,
Chanel Alissa Rose
The Road to Recovery 
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