Sober and Strong

On October 1, 2018 is when I decided to be sober. I want to share my journey of being sober and why I made this decision.

I used alcohol as a coping strategy for my depression and anxiety disorder and my social anxiety. Drinking became my best friend when I felt like I didn’t have anybody else. My to-go drink was Vodka with cranberry juice and lime. Sounds good right? It was and I felt like I was on top of the world with alcohol in my system. What I mean by that is drinking helped me to block out my depression thoughts. It numbed me so I wouldn’t feel unhappy and lonely. I didn’t want to feel what was bothering me when I’m out with my friends or with a group of unknown people. Drinking was my way to cope with my anxiety. I did that every time I would go out and I was known as the alcoholic of the group. It didn’t bother me. That may sound weird, but I loved it because I was getting noticed and people wanted to hang out with me. Things started to change on my 30th birthday. I rather not go into detail, but I woke up the next morning feeling horrible and I couldn’t remember anything from the night before. I looked at myself in the mirror trying to figure out what happened. I texted my friend apologizing to her for all the bad things I said and did. She laughed and said “That’s okay.” That is when I realized it was time for me to stop drinking. I threw away all the alcohol in my house and got some counseling to help me cope better with my depression and anxiety without drinking. I been TWO YEARS SOBER. It has been a long difficult journey. I do still have my cravings of alcohol when I’m not feeling mentally okay, but I’m so grateful to have the love and support from my friends and family to get through this. I will continue to be sober and stronger.