Tag: mental health

Mental Health and Work

I want to talk about how my mental health affects my ability to function at work. I only work Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Of course working three days out of the week doesn’t seem that bad, but it can be exhausting. I feel like its too much. Before going back to work, I start to have a panic attack. Leaving my safe place (my home) and going to a different environment triggers me into panic mode. My job can be overwhelming sometimes, especially during stressful situations. The thoughts of going back to work makes me sick to the stomach. Everything that is going on in my personal life, working part-time and going to school full-time it can be stressful. I get depressed and my anxiety goes through the roof. It affects my ability to focus on customers needs and be able to do my job correctly. When I’m at work I don’t talk as much. I get in deep depression, my mind is somewhere else, like in a dark place…zone out. I tend to lash out at my coworkers and customers. I don’t think its right and its not fair to them because they didn’t do anything wrong. Some times I think its best for me to stay quite. In the mist of a busy day, I have to deal with rude, demanding, unhappy customers.

So, I came up with some coping strategies that helps me to get through my work day:

  1. I talked to my department manager to let her know about what was going on with me mentally and how it affects my ability to work. It was important for me to make sure that she has a clear understanding and be aware about my mental health. Come with a plan to help, me have a stress free working environment.
  2. When I’m feeling overwhelmed or having a panic attack, I ask to take a 15 minute break to calm down.
  3. I always have water with me. To keep me hydrated throughout the day.
  4. Breathing techniques to help me relax. I listen to music or read a book during my lunch break.

What would you like to add?

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Sober and Strong

Two years sober and strong. It feels amazing!

On October 1, 2018 is when I decided to be sober. I want to share my journey of being sober and why I made this decision.

I used alcohol as a coping strategy for my depression and anxiety disorder and my social anxiety. Drinking became my best friend when I felt like I didn’t have anybody else. My to-go drink was Vodka with cranberry juice and lime. Sounds good right? It was and I felt like I was on top of the world with alcohol in my system. What I mean by that is drinking helped me to block out my depression thoughts. It numbed me so I wouldn’t feel unhappy and lonely. I didn’t want to feel what was bothering me when I’m out with my friends or with a group of unknown people. Drinking was my way to cope with my anxiety. I did that every time I would go out and I was known as the alcoholic of the group. It didn’t bother me. That may sound weird, but I loved it because I was getting noticed and people wanted to hang out with me. Things started to change on my 30th birthday. I rather not go into detail, but I woke up the next morning feeling horrible and I couldn’t remember anything from the night before. I looked at myself in the mirror trying to figure out what happened. I texted my friend apologizing to her for all the bad things I said and did. She laughed and said “That’s okay.” That is when I realized it was time for me to stop drinking. I threw away all the alcohol in my house and got some counseling to help me cope better with my depression and anxiety without drinking. I been TWO YEARS SOBER. It has been a long difficult journey. I do still have my cravings of alcohol when I’m not feeling mentally okay, but I’m so grateful to have the love and support from my friends and family to get through this. I will continue to be sober and stronger.

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Late Night Thoughts part 5.

My depression has been draining me mentally. Its been hard for me to function at school and at work. I find it difficult to do easy task. Like taking a shower, cooking , doing homework and cleaning. When I’m in deep depression, I want to be alone instead of being around people. I have been so emotional and try my best to fake it so people wouldn’t ask questions. I feel like a toxic mess and unwanted, but that is not true. I’m stronger than my depression. Its okay to not be okay. Its important to take care of myself and be kind to my mind.

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My Mental Health Matters

My mental health has declined so much. I’m crying a lot more, it turns into anger and built up frustration. I started to notice some changes in my mood. Something is off with me. I’m not the same person I was a few months ago. I thought it would be best to take a break from my personal social media accounts. Its time for me to take a step back and focus more on myself. I realize that its okay to press the pause button and think about what I need mentally and emotionally to get my mental health back on track.

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Late Night Thoughts pt.4

Sometimes I feel like I’m not enough. Sometimes I feel like I’m too much. I’ve always had this feeling thay I’m too toxic for people. My anxiety and depression makes me feel and think people don’t want to be around me because I’m too emotional or I’m a burden to them. What do I do? I end up pushing them away because I start to believe what that voice is saying is true.

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Mental Health Check-In

Hello everyone, welcome back to my blog. I hope everyone is doing well. I haven’t posted anything on here in months. I been busy since the semester started back in August and also working. I wanted to share with you guys about how I been with my mental health. To be honest its been its been an emotional roller coaster. My depression and anxiety has gotten worse. Trying to balance school, work and my personal life, its been difficult for me. These couple of weeks was challenging. I’ve had multiple mental breakdowns that has caused me to shutdown and want to be alone. I’m trying my best to get through this battle, but its so hard. I just need to push the pause button to figure out what I need to do to get myself together mentally.

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My Depression Thoughts

I don’t think people understand behind my smile and laughter is a lost soul searching for happiness…searching for a way out. My depression makes me feel numb, emotionless, confused & invisible. I’m not sure how else to explain it. I wish this feeling would go away.

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Crying out for Help

“Please Help!”

!Before you read any further, this post does have a trigger warning!

I want to talk about suicide. This is a hard, sensitive subject to talk about. As a mental health advocate, I want to end the stigma and be more open about my struggle. It started at the age of 13 when I thought about ending my life after my mother passed away from cancer. I still struggle with it and its been a constant battle. When I talk to people about my thoughts they look at me as an attention seeker…that’s not the case. I want them to know I’m talking to them because my thoughts are so dark…I’m crying out for help. I want to escape from my pain. Not technically leave this earth if that makes sense. I try so hard not to have those kind of thoughts and it hasn’t been easy. I know that I have a purpose here on earth, I want to use my story to inspire and help people.

Always remember you are strong brave and you are not alone. Keep fighting, don’t give up. WE will get through this together.

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My Loud Thoughts

I don’t like to be alone with my thoughts.

My thoughts in my head are so loud. I can’t think, focus, or function because they won’t quiet down. These pass few weeks has been weird. I have become more distant, angry, irritated, and not caring about anything. My energy is low, my vibe is off and people are staring to notice. The question I get asked is “Are you okay?” I reply back with a smile on my face “Yes! I’m good.” Of course I’m not telling the truth. I’m telling people I’m good, everything is going great but my thoughts are so loud…screaming at me “You are not okay! You are a hot mess!” Haha Is that true!? Am I a hot mess? The more I start to listen to those thoughts, the more I start to believe it. UGH! I just want to escape…escape from my loud thoughts.

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Different Types of Trauma and Coping Strategies

!POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING!

Hello everyone, welcome back to my blog. I want to talk about trauma. I know it can be a subject that people don’t like to discuss. I use to be that way but, I think talking about it is part of our healing process. I want to share some information about about different types of trauma, coping strategies and more detail about trauma.

Trauma is a deeply disturbing or threatening event. It is normal to feel distressed and overwhelmed. Response to trauma may be embodied by an acute stress reaction. Which is a short lived condition that develops following a traumatic event.

Signs of Trauma

Anxiety of fear of danger to self or loved ones, being alone, being in other frightening situation, having a similar event happen again.

Avoidance of situations or thoughts that remind you of the traumatic event.

Flashbacks where images of the traumatic event come into your mind suddenly for no apparent reason, or where you mentally re-experience the event.

Anger or irritability at what has happened, at the senselessness of it all, at what caused the event to happen, often asking “Why me?”

Acute Stress Reactions

Being agitated or over-active, anxiety symptoms, feeling disorientated and feeling depressed.

P.T.S.D

Nightmares about the trauma and disturbed sleep.

Avoiding things, thoughts and feeling that reminds you of the traumatic event.

Withdrawal from your friends and family.

Having depressed or irritable moody and getting angry easily.

Coping with symptoms of trauma

If you feel uncomfortable, scared, or anxious, take some long, slow breathes and remind yourself that you are safe, and that the trauma is over.

Make sure that you are doing things that are relaxing and enjoyable, be kind to yourself.

Make sure you are with people. Don’t go home to an empty house, ask a friend or relative to stay with you.

Their are three types of trauma, acute, chronic, or complex. Acute trauma results comes from a single incident. Chronic trauma is repeated and prolonged such as domestic violence or abuse. Complex trauma is exposure to varied and multiple traumatic events, often of an invasive interpersonal nature.

Psychological Trauma is considered a mental trauma. It is a damage to the mind that occurs as a result of a distressing event.

Initial reactions to trauma can include exhaustion, confusion, sadness, anxiety, agitation, numbness, dissociation, confusion, physical arousal, and blunted affect most responses are normal in that they affect most survivors and are socially acceptable, psychologically effective and self-limited.

After my mother died from cancer when I was 12 years old, I felt like my whole world got turned upside down. Dealing with trauma affected me mentally because I was young and didn’t understand what was going on in my life. As an adult its much harder for me now. I thought it would be best to take the steps of healing to help me mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually

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